The following is paraphrased from Mark Twight, the mad genius behind Gym Jones and a primary trainer for the movie “300.”

I recently ran across a blogger who imagines himself a bike racer, and apparently a quite a good one, though actual performance on the road, on the day, is conspicuously absent.

Any valuable activity must feature objective measuring sticks and periodic tests wherein an individual may experience the certainty of his capacities. The bullshit limiter included in “Hemingway’s Three” (bullfighting, motor racing, and mountaineering) punishes self-delusion with injury or death. But any activity without clear rules or objective means of measure and comparison may be “interpreted” without consequence.

Events are misremembered and romanticized because the definition of success is ambiguous in the first place.

The Internet poser’s world is hazy: he passes off sporting sub-disciplines for the real thing, hints at things he might do, under-reports the results of things he has done, foregoes events that offer genuine competition, short-strokes reps in the gym, refuses to use objective measuring tools (perhaps to evade the truth), and contrives virtual challenges through which he draws an apparent association with the legitimate event and its participants.

As a society we don’t test because we don’t want to know. We put the ball on a tee to be certain of a hit. Participation earns a trophy. Podiums have five steps. There is no penalty for losing. This, when virtually every coach and player and thinker agree that losing teaches the lessons; while winning results from having learned (and applied) those lessons. Without tests or boundaries how is one supposed to grow? When everyone is a winner who is left to learn the lessons? Conscious rejection of objective measuring sticks and periodic tests suggests the decline and fall of mankind. Today we’re a species of pretenders, and wanna-bes, and (in this country) obesity. I say bring on the killer cockroaches and whoever survives can start this party over.

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