As You Like It

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All the world’s a stage and all the men and women merely players.

For the competitive shooter, a stage is one small event, played to a personal score.

To the theatrical operator, all the world’s a stage, and every man in his time plays many parts. And if he plays the role of operator with flourish beyond reason, well ‘tis true the brightest candle burns the quickest but generally will generate more Instagram and YouTube views than the mundane illumination of skill and practical efficiency.

Stolen from

Best Tacticool Shooting Review Ever

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Of course, it was done by Ozzy Man Reviews. Even an Australian satirist with no formal firearms training can easily see how this kind of crap is stupid.

“He’s not hitting any of the targets… but that’s ok, you don’t always have to kill everyone. He’s causing alot of… discomfort in the combat zone.”

Classifications Explained

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Stolen from:

USPSA Classifications Explained
by “Trigger Warning”

D Class: Derp
Awful. You are functioning at a level of retardedness that must truly tax your mother’s faith in the Almighty to not seek a retroactive abortion. You are lucky to escape the porous net of an overtaxed social services system that would certainly have you committed, where you would eventually be heavily medicated and moved to a secret government compound to be studied as a backwater evolutionary waystation between modern humanity and distant echoes of our primordial ancestors who struggled for existence armed only with instinctual reactions to environmental cues and a pointless but very real desire to survive.

C Class: Crap
You are looking up the wrong side of the bell curve; it’s an Everest-like climb for you to think about summiting at average. Likely you will die in the attempt, frozen and alone, existing as a reminder that not everyone who dreams should dare.

B Class: Blah
Not terrible. You’ve reached a place where you can assign your lack of any singular achievements in any facet of your life as the admirable result of a focus on work/life balance. It’s not fooling anyone else, but it gets you through the day.

A Class: Asshole
You are a constant threat to break the top 10 at a local, depending on attendance. You rest assured that people unfamiliar with USPSA who hear you are an A Class shooter must think you are good, since the class labeling system bizarrely puts the highest grade letter in the middle of the actual class rankings.

M Class: Meh
You are a walking embodiment of Ben Stoeger’s maxim that anybody who puts in enough effort can be good at shooting (or something like that). You have won some locals and you are almost good enough to be considered match heat. Almost. That means not good enough. Your finest moment and key to M-Class glory was finding a range that let you put up classifiers that you could practice incessantly after Facebook stalking matches and match directors to divine the upcoming Classifiers.

GM Class: Gun Masturbator
You’ve made it to the top. There is nowhere dumber to go. You are capable of winning a local match with accompanying glory similar to that achieved by being on the winning team of a pick-up basketball game in a suburban park. All it cost you was thousands of dollars on an income stream that would have Dave Ramsey punching you in the balls with a set of borrowed brass knuckles if he only knew that a major portion of your free time and disposable income that could have been used to strengthen family relationships or learn marketable skills, along with tendons that will now be chronically inflamed for the rest of your life, which is, by the way, downhill from here.

IDPA Classifications Explained
by “ShootsLikeaDog”

You’re shooting IDPA. Kill yourself.

You’re shooting IDPA and you’re not even top-tier at it. Kill yourself.

You’re shooting IDPA, but you might not be good enough with a gat to kill yourself. Have a backup method for killing yourself.

You’re shooting IDPA, but you’re definitely not good enough with a gat to kill yourself and you probably can’t figure out a backup method. Have someone else do it.

You’re not even shooting and we’re amazed you haven’t ND’d yourself to death already. You’re basically a vegetable. Someone will be along to disconnect the ventilator shortly.

NRA Classifications Explained
by John M. Buol Jr.

A Marksman Classification is “earned” by merely showing up to a match and failing to be disqualified due to flagrant safety violations. You can’t shoot worse than this. Scratch that. Given only 2% of the NRA membership will bother to ever show up, 98% of the herd are less involved and probably worse than your terrible level of non-skill.

The worst you can shoot while meeting a minimally-low cut off. One step up from the bottom. Good job!

You’re actually invested and have practiced to become this bad. A complete lay person (which describes nearly every gun owner that has never attended a match) might be fooled into believing an “Expert” Classification denotes actual skill. You’re shooting just well enough to eventually stumble into enough “leg points” to earn a Distinguished Rifleman/Pistol Shot badge if you keep at it, the marksmanship equivalent of the infinite monkey theorem.

Possibly good enough to be a contender for a win at local, or small state/regional match. You consider a trip to a drained swamp on the southwest-side of Lake Erie to stay in a hutment that deployed Marines would complain about to be a vacation while spending enough money in travel, lodging, match fees, and ammunition to have instead gone to Europe.

High Master
You’ve reached the Classification pinnacle of a century-old sport sponsored by a political organization that not even the directors and card-carrying members know or care anything about. And it only took an investment in time and money that could have paid for an early retirement. After giving your paycheck to Chump’s Choice, avoid considering this fact by enjoying beer and pizza at Bell Mell or an ice cream at Andy’s because ya can’t go to Nick’s anymore…

Customer Service Video

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Here is an excellent example of customer service from of Omega Holsters.

I suggested to the owner to deduct that dollar off the invoice due to the customer using his own home oven and to request photos of the new holster in use.

Dynamic Citrus Incident

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A lesson from the United Kingdom Special Forces on combatives. How to defend your yourself in a Dynamic Critical Incident involving fruit.

Only Police and Military are Qualified to Carry Guns

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This one from John Tate.

Polícia Militar are a type of preventive state police in every state of Brazil. The Military Police units, which have their own formations, rules and uniforms depending on the state, are responsible for maintaining public order across the country including the Federal District and its capital, Brasília. Deployed solely to act as a deterrent against the commission of crime, units do not conduct criminal investigations. Detective work, forensics and prosecutions are undertaken by a state’s Civil Police.

In Brazil, all firearms are required to be registered with the minimum age for gun ownership being 25. It is illegal to carry a gun outside a residence, and a special permit is granted to certain groups, such as law enforcement officers. To legally own a gun, an owner must hold a gun license, which costs BRL R$1000, and the owner must pay a fee every three years to register the gun, currently at BRL R$85.

– Wikipedia

Here’s a video segment of Polícia Militar, one of those special-permit groups, on the range. You’ll need to be signed in to a Facebook account to see this.

Good thing this officer never attended competition shooting events. Wouldn’t want to develop any bad habits or training scars!

.410/.45 Autoloading Handgun


I’m contacting my representatives to push for this to replace the M9….. and M1014.

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Plus, it will be a serious boost for the economy of Grand Fenwick!

Smith & Weston’s .410 Double Trouble Autoloader

Ares Armor ATF Coloring Book

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Dimitrios Karras of Ares Armor noticed some discrepancies concerning the BATFE release of ATF Rul. 2015-1, specifically, their inconsistencies in ruling what exactly construes a receiver, a weapon, and the manufacture thereof.

Karras states the issue with a formal letter to B. Todd Jones, Director of the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms, and Explosives:

Click to access B.Todd%20Letter%20re%20Ruling.pdf

Given the problems with BATFE personnel understanding the technical and legal ramifications of their ruling, Karras provides a coloring book version describing the issue in crayon.

Tactical Fire

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Best part is how similar a video like this looks and sounds to “real” training.

Tactical trainers are easy to make fun of because they insist on coming across as douchebag clowns.

Folks, stick to working on and improving fundamental skills and abilities. Set and achieve measurable goals. Learn how to learn. Participate in shooting, fitness and other skill/capability tests and/or competitions to validate that you have in fact gained improvement.

The very fact you are willing to organize your effort, search for a yardstick to measure improvement and actually follow through with something puts you ahead of more than 90% of the crowd, including those pretending to be instructors and taking money from the unsuspecting, gullible “tactical” public. When/if you are presented an actual task/mission to prepare for, you’ll quickly be able to ramp up to meet it. The difficult task of developing fundamental skills and abilities will have been done and your mental fortitude will be bolstered by developing the discipline to see difficult work through.

Or don’t. Why listen to me? Put on your MARPAT Multicam Nomex ninja suit and have fun at Tactical Fantasy Camp!

Sweep The Leg Tactical Drill


Do you have a problem with that?

– No, Sensei.

No mercy.


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